One: You are stupid if you follow this list

Two: You are even more stupid if you made this list (before I edited it)

Three: You are the epitome of stupid if you unironically worship Mike as a god

Four: If you cite him as a credible source for an academic paper or something then I don't even know what to say about you anymore

Five: Thou shalt not crossdress or be trans in the presence of Mike. (I didn't edit this one, hey guys remember when Albert was banned for being a transphobic piece of shit, unlike the rest of the stream? He totally wasn't just doing what many others at the time had done or anything, even Mike himself, nope)

Six: I hate reading this so much I'm just going to rewrite all of these commandments just so I can't see any of them anymore.

Seven: My brain is spilling out of my ears as I read these, I need to finish editing so I can minimize the damage it's done to my brain

Eight: Pee is stored in the balls

Nine: Thou thou thou oh mike the great one thou thou the great one of whom the universe revolves around and whom everyone should worship forever thou thou thou and thou thou thou

Ten: Apparently this one was implying that Mike should just stick his dick into everything that it can fit into, great idea jackass.


Those who dare breaketh one of the sacred commandments shall not be punished in any way because whoever wrote this in the first place is a shady cactus fucker.

- These commandments have been heavily outdated and are in need of revision.

Done, I'd say this is adequate