One: Thou shalt not like Bern.
Two: Thou shalt not speak of the cancer of Swedish descent, nor shall thou playeth the games he has touched.
Three: Thou shalt maketh fun of all the trolls. Especially Albert.
Four: Thou shalt not expect the playing of quality games, but consider thus a blessing.
Five: Thou shalt not crossdress or be trans in the presence of Mike.
Six: All womenfolk must expect cheap flirtations from Mike.
Seven: Thou may only offer thy breasts if ye are a cis female.
Eight: Thou shalt not question the relationship status of Mike. He is free for all (cis females).
Nine: Thou shalt not insult those that Mike deems worthy of his respect and/or unrequited love.
Ten: No hole shall be left un-plunged by Mike, unless it is the rectum of a mortal or the holes of a being unworthy of Mike's girth.
So it has been written, so it shall be.
Those who dare breaketh one of the sacred commandments shall be dipped in a vat of acid alongside every one of their relatives (except the individuals for whom they harbor hatred).
- These commandments have been heavily outdated and are in need of revision.